Melissa Tilling: Diversity makes companies

While Tilling insists her journey has been “nothing but positive with lots of learning”, she appreciates there is still work to do to encourage all trans people to feel comfortable in the workplace.

“The approach I take to my work – methodical, planned and considered – was the one I took to my transition,” she explains. “I’m pleased it was – because rushing, forcing acceptance, doesn’t end well.

“Sadly, we live in an age where you have to conform to a binary. If the world was a different place, I would just be being me.

“But Gires counsels that if you abuse society by fighting it and presenting an image that is not in that binary environment – such as walking into work in a beard and a maxi dress – they will kick you back. It’s about working together to increase understanding.

“Society has come a long way but there is still much to do for true acceptance of transgender people.”

This idea of collaboration is a key part of Tilling’s advice for both employees and employers around trans issues.

For employees, she advises not to “punish people” if they sometimes get the pronoun wrong, or call you by your old name.

She urges: “You have to take a step back and accept this is an experience for them too.

“You want people to embrace and accept you – if you then slap them back every time they make a small indiscretion, they don’t know how to act around you.

“Use being transgender and the fact the law protects you as a weapon at your peril, because it’s about acceptance and collaboration.”

Tilling adds that being “true to yourself” is often not as “terrifying” as might be expected.

“From my personal experience, it hasn’t mattered what my gender is, or how I present, as long as I’ve remained true to my professionalism… Me transitioning hasn’t hindered me at work – in fact, quite the opposite. My colleagues have seen through the labels to what I do to lead the team.”

When it comes to employers, Tilling’s advice is to “be open and able to think of the individual and what they bring more than their gender identity”, as Mark Travel and Funway were.

Tilling has signed TTG’s Diversity Charter, which she describes as “a great statement”, adding: “Diversity makes companies. We all bring something – it’s a question of unlocking that and making the most of it for the person themselves and for the business.”

I ask Tilling why she felt it was the right time to share her story.

“As I pass the 10-year anniversary of my transition – and one year since becoming managing director – I feel the need to try and help raise the profile of transgender people and their issues of acceptance within society and the workplace.

“I feel the transgender community is somewhat behind the curve in terms of acceptance. I don’t know of one other trans person in travel, and it can’t be that they’re not out there. I hope now I’ve opened up about my journey, others will see that it really is possible to transition at work – and that it can improve you as a worker.

“If you truly believe that you have a gender identity issue, you owe it to yourself and all those around you to do something about it,” she adds.

While Tilling regrets that she has to conform to a binary at all, for her the benefits of transitioning have outweighed all else.

“Transitioning has definitely helped me achieve greater empathy and humility, and to be more open and relaxed,” she explains. “It’s made my relationships with others easier because I’m no longer pretending to be something I’m not – to others or myself… It’s almost like being reborn.

“I no longer feel the weight of deception with my colleagues, and I’ve found a greater depth of peace,” she muses.

“If I can inspire anyone else out there to open up about who they really are, then it will be mission accomplished.”

gires.org.uk

tranzwiki.net

transunite.co.uk

beaumontsociety.org.uk/transgender-support-organisations

mermaidsuk.org.uk